The Hidden Depths of Ordinary Lives

School of Athens Newsletter 227. Written by ‍Giles Jepson, CGO at BeenThereDoneThat
The Hidden Depths  of Ordinary Lives

The Hidden Depths of Ordinary Lives

School of Athens Newsletter 227. Written by ‍Giles Jepson, CGO at BeenThereDoneThat

Hi, it’s Giles here.

Dave Tomkins is a quiet, unassuming man living in a village in Hampshire, England. If you passed him on the street, you’d never guess that his life was once steeped in danger, deception and covert operations.

Imagine a plan so audacious, so seemingly outlandish, that it involved bombing a prison with a vintage World War II bomber in an attempt to assassinate the world’s most notorious drug lord, Pablo Escobar. This was the world inhabited by Dave Tomkins, whose life reads like a Hollywood thriller.

Today, Dave lives far from the battlefield, but his story is far from ordinary. Captured in the BBC documentary Dogs of War, Tomkins reveals the extraordinary layers beneath the surface of a man many would dismiss as just another face in the crowd. His life as a mercenary is proof that beneath the most ordinary of exteriors, there can lie extraordinary depths of experience and adventure.

But Tomkins' story isn’t just an outlier. It speaks to a broader truth: we often form snap judgments about the people we encounter based on their appearances, never knowing the full story. In reality, every person carries a rich inner world, a tapestry woven from experiences, desires, and often hidden potential.

This is where the psychology of "hidden depths" comes into play—a field that invites us to look beyond the surface and consider what lies beneath. The concept has its roots in early 20th-century psychology, particularly in the work of Sigmund Freud, who famously compared the human mind to an iceberg. Freud's theory suggested that much of our unconscious mind—the emotions, desires, and memories that shape our behaviour—remains hidden beneath the surface of conscious thought.

Today, this idea is further developed in modern psychology, where it emphasizes how much of our identity, motivations, and potential lie outside of our immediate awareness. By looking beyond external appearances and behaviors, we can start to understand the complexities of individuals—what drives them, what they fear, and what they are capable of, often without us even knowing.

This idea of hidden depths is vividly illustrated in Brandon Stanton's Humans of New York, a project that captures the extraordinary lives of seemingly ordinary people. Through his powerful portraits and candid interviews, Stanton uncovers the complex, often surprising stories of individuals living in one of the world's busiest cities. Take Tanqueray, for instance. A homeless woman whose infectious laughter and bright smile defy all the stereotypes associated with homelessness. Tanqueray’s story of addiction, hardship and resilience uncovers layers of strength and spirit that challenge our assumptions about people living on the margins of society.

Through Humans of New York, Stanton shows us that we should never judge a book by its cover. There is always more than meets the eye.

But the concept of hidden depths isn’t confined to extreme stories. In her book The Power of Introverts, Susan Cain explores how society often overlooks the quiet strengths of introverts. While we celebrate the outgoing, charismatic personalities of extroverts, Cain argues that introverts possess their own unique and valuable traits—traits that are often invisible to those who fail to look beyond the surface.

Just like Tomkins’ mercenary past or Tanqueray’s hidden resilience, introverts harbour hidden depths of creativity, empathy and insight. Cain urges us to recognize these strengths, not just as traits, but as essential contributions to the world around us.

The stories of Dave Tomkins, Tanqueray and introverts everywhere remind us of the importance of curiosity and empathy. When we take the time to look beyond the surface, we may just uncover extraordinary lives hidden in plain sight.

Giles Jepson
CGO at BeenThereDoneThat

Further reading:

Storyville: Dogs of War

Humans of New York

The Power of Introverts, Susan Cain

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